The Truth vs. Our Reality

It's amazing how we don't accept the things that are put before us as truth in order to teach us something. I've recently been involved in a conversation where a person clearly showed everyone who they really were, but because her behavior had not shone itself before, it was a shock to everyone and they just can't accept it.  Mya Angelou once said "When people show you who they are, believe them".

Why do we find it so hard to accept people for who they really are? Whether it be a husband/significant other, a friend, or a co-worker. We would rather hang on to the false reality that the person we know is the genuine person that we see and talk to daily, as if they have it all together.  For instance, the young man that lives next door. Everyone always says he was so quiet, always kept to himself and never bothering anyone. But then you hear about him causing mayhem at the school or the movie theater or even against someone. You'll hear neighbors, friends and even teachers say that they never would have thought he would do something like this or that. He was a really nice person.

Or how about the husband/significant other; to everyone on the outside he is loving, caring, polite to you (in public) and everyone else. He loves his mother, sisters and all other female family members; he takes care of you financially and you want for nothing........except peace in your home. He has lead everyone to believe he is the perfect partner but behind closed doors he's a menace, being verbally and sometimes physically abusive.

Or in the case of the above conversation that I was having via social media. This instructor was well liked by it seems many, she was very helpful, a good instructor by many accounts. But this instructor lost her cool over a difference of opinion so to speak. This instructor lost her cool regarding a student to the point she allowed herself to be fired from the University and caught an assault case against said student. There were a few terms being thrown around to describe her character, going off of her behavior and actions; by all accounts the terms are spot on. For some reason others continued to make excuses for her behavior and not accept her for who she is.

The instructor showed her true character, why is it that some choose to not accept it? What attachment, emotional or otherwise, do we hold with people as to why we don't want to believe a person for who they really are. Is it that we've formed our own opinion and ideas about them and those formed ideas make us comfortable. Or is it the image that we've formed in our minds, then once their true character shines through our judge of character is flawed by our misjudgment?

Oprah amended the saying stating "When someone shows you who they are, believe them the FIRST time".

Whatever the case, at the end of the day we have to accept the true reality of a person and live with it.