We are responsible for US and US alone

Disclaimer: these words, thoughts and opinions are mine and mine alone.

So......I read an article on yesterday about a young woman who went on a date with actor comedian Aziz Ansari and by her accounts the date was "not fun for her and he made her feel uncomfortable".

Now let me give you a summary of their date to give you some perspective. She met Ansari at a party and was excited to meet him, she went up to him said hi....he was disinterested. She persisted and pointed out that they had the same unique camera. The talked, flirted throughout the night even though she was there with another date. They exchanged numbers before leaving and when he got back to NY he contacted her for a date. Fast forward to date night, she goes to his place in Tribeca and the leave from there to a nice seafood restaurant. They order dinner and a bottle of wine, per her words she felt that he was rushing through dinner to the point of asking the waiter for the check when she still had food on her plate and wine in her glass and the bottle. They walk back to his place and the semi sexual encounter begins. She comments on his counter tops, he ask her to hop up on it, he starts to kiss her and she kisses him back. He undresses himself and her and although she states she feels uncomfortable they continue. He then starts to give her oral sex, he ask for a BJ in return, she obliges. He voices that he's going to get a condom......she responds "Whoa, let's relax for a sec, let's chill". They continue to kiss, he puts his fingers in her mouth and ask her how and where does she want to be fucked, she let's him know that she feels uncomfortable. He backs away, they relax on the couch, the touching continues, he wants sex and alludes to it. She continues to resist with nonverbal ques as she states, he's never forceful or threatening. This went on for another 30 minutes until she decides she's had enough and goes on to tell him that you guys are all the fucking same. He calls her an Uber and she goes home
She decides to contact a few of her friends and tell them about the horrible date she just had and how all he wanted to do was get her drunk and have sex; she was disappointed.
She states her friends help her grapple with the aftermath of her night with Ansari. She says "it took a really long time for me to validate this as sexual assault. She says she was debating if this just an awkward sexual experience or sexual assault. She states that why she spoke with so many of her friends to get validation of her experience.

Now.....for my honest and humble opinion.

As I stated in the title of this story, we women are responsible for us and our actions. Outside of someone having a weapon to our head or bodies or being threatened, we have the right and should leave the situation when we no longer feel comfortable. It doesn't matter how much we like a person or how nice of a person we perceived him to be. When we no longer are having fun or feel like we're in a position of being pressured, it's time to go. We are not timid voiceless beings void of strength to the point we can't stand up for ourselves and let our voices be heard. We have the POWER until we chose to give it away by not speaking up. Just like we tell and ask the opposite sex to be and take responsibility for their actions. We have to do the same, no matter what the situation and I'm not talking about how we dress because there is NEVER a time where what you wear is an invitation for assault or rape. But we do have to be aware of our surroundings, our actions and how we respond to the situations we're in.

I feel that I can speak on this topic because I WAS a victim of rape and sexual assault as a child. I had no power, but what I did have was my voice and I knew that what was happening to me was wrong and I immediately told an adult.

These are my words and my opinions. Please share your thoughts and opinions, and although we may or may not agree I respect everyone's point of view.

#sonyacookementor

Here is the link to the original story: https://babe.net/2018/01/13/aziz-ansari-28355