I vividly recall my excitement when I decided to pursue a job
at an elementary school. My goal was to run for the school board, but I also
wanted firsthand experience interacting with children in the education environment.
I chose an Indiana Public School (IPS) in the neighborhood because my children attended.
I also knew some of the staff and I knew my way around with being familiar with
the school and wanted to make a difference there.
I figured if I was on the inside, I would be able to advocate
and mentor the girls through my Girl Talk Inc. Empowerment Program while also
being able to help them academically. Man, let me tell you, did I get a rude
awakening, and as I mentioned before I was a mother of two kids that attended
the IPS system.
I quickly found out that these kids were not only bad as
hell, they were disrespectful, out of control, and had no self-control for
themselves or others. These kids were acting like wild animals with their
erratic behavior! Now, to be crystal clear these are 10, 11, & 12-year-old
boys and girls very few 13-year-olds. Babies to me, who portrayed the most horrendous
behaviors I have ever seen in all my 47 years of life from children.
Growing up I was raised to say “yes ma’am” and “no ma’am”,
please and thank you, and to respect my elders regardless of the circumstances.
That is not to say I or others from my generation didn’t cut up, but we had
enough respect to not curse in front of an adult especially our parents; hell,
any adult for that matter! No, not the kids I encountered, they cursed, yelled,
screamed, shoved, threatened and even to the extent of kicking over classroom
furniture.
What I later learned
through their reluctant telling, stories from teachers, and reading material on
adolescent behavior, these kids were failed by their parents, loved ones, and
adults who were charged with loving and protecting them. The same individuals
who were supposed to take care of, provide shelter, clothing, food and guidance
for them. These children were acting out what they had seen, heard, and
experienced in both their home and environment. These children have had and
continued to experience trauma that no child should ever have to experience at
their age and especially when this trauma is avoidable and often inflicted by
the ones they love.
These poor kids were hurting and acting out wanting help, and
the only way they knew how to express themselves was through defiant behavior
that would appear to an adult, an authority figure as disrespectful and out of
control.
I said all of that to say, PARENTS, we must do better!
I constantly hear and have been guilty of saying myself.
These kids are bad as hell, they need ass whooping’s, or the politically
correct verbiage is “they need discipline”, and love. I was that parent and
mentor saying this consistently. I’ve learned that they need so much more! Yes,
kids do need love and discipline however they also need someone to listen to
them and understand what they have been through and are going through. Children
need stability and consistency; the village of old, counseling, therapy, in
lieu of suspensions or juvenile disciplinary action.
My call to action is this, young mothers I am here for you;
we are here for you! I was once you, a young mother with two young children,
inexperienced and trying to figure it all out. Failing at times but trying to
do my absolute best at others. Now there are a lot of things I hear young mothers
are doing in front of their children that I didn’t dare do. I am not judging
but again, as mothers we have to do better. Children learn from what they see
and hear, they repeat and imitate these said actions. We can’t get upset about
what our children are doing when we are providing them with the blueprint to do
so. We must do better!
I am a mother, a mentor, and the village! Whatever I can do
to assist the young mothers of this generation to raise their children in a
healthy, loving, and well-balanced environment; I’ll take the initiative and
do! I don’t profess to know everything, however what I do know through
experience and education I will whole heartedly share. I will go to the ends of
the earth to be there. I am here for you, as we as a village are here for you,
so let us help!
